Little spoons don't ask big questions
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
