I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
