I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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