why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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