I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
