I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
