playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
