just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
