It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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