Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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