forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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