Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize