no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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