The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
