are you so shy because you have an std?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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