yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
