there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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