My liver just broke up with me...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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