i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
