he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize