You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
