there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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