Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
