just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
