From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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