Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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