i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
