I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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