I got chris browned last night
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
