I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
