you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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