i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
