I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
