Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
