Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
