So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
