nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize