blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Panties = found
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
