First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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