it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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