No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Randomize
