I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize