I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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