It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
