So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
