Someone shit on the floor
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
