Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
