oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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