I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
