If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize