Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am available for nakedness
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
