why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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