there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
