He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
