ya dads aren't the best wingmen
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
