I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
