yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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