I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
