if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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