hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
