Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
