When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
