All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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