The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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