haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
