i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
