She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
