okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
