He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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