i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
