So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
