The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
