Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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